I loved as a child
I laughed as a child
Now as an adult
I am dominated by the fear
I learned as a child
Now as an adult
I am dominated by the fear
I learned as a child
Now I watch my waitress
And I wonder if she is also processing
The traumas of a dimly remembered past
While serving another table’s drink orders
I wonder if the waitress knows
That in the every day of just going along
Her mind, and her heart, and her spirit
Process the hard work that is so upsetting
“You did not go crazy”
“You did not die”
“You lived and never let go of the light
Even when you were plunged into the darkness”
“And all you learned to cope
With the trauma so many years ago
Keeps you alive now
While you heal”
But the rain
Didn’t come
Just as well
She thought
Letting the surf
Wash high up
Her pretty
Yellow
Boots
Sometimes
This body
Like a trophy
And I
Caught inside
Ponder on the things
This body has done
Beyond my ability
Beyond my creation
And I
Wonder I
At who am I
Whether this body is I
Or some other I
In the form
Of a bright yellow slicker
With matching wellies
Animated
By a girlish delight
In the roiling sea
For the dog
For the man
For the unseen eye
Guiding the lens
To capture
The perfect
Moment