I have convinced myself
That chaos follows me
As if a companion
Or a stalker I can not shake

Until today’s revelation
That it is merely disorder
Of my own orderly creation

Like the roiling waters
Left in the wake

Of a vessel underway

And I am always underway
Though always looking back

Focused on the havoc
Left behind
In the lives of self and others

Manufacturing in my mind
The spiritual narrative
Of a Job-like tragedy
That relieves me of responsibility