My fear is always
More about the road
Already travelled
Than what is to come
I carry the past
As tragedies
And failures
Then project them ahead
Like road signs
Diverting me from a truer path
I remind myself
When checking the rearview
Acknowledge the tragedies and failures
Along the road once travelled
But leave them in the past
Then bring to mind
The triumphs and successes
Project these on every road ahead
As billboards of encouragement
With scant resource
For alternates
My faith is firm
No other course
Now heart resolved
Courage mustered
With just one step
My fears dissolved
It was impossible to know
If her composure reflected disoriented shock
Or disdain for the physical danger
She had not yet entirely escaped
Until she let the hem fall down her thigh
Turned her attention toward her destination
Determined steps splashed a path
In a straight line through flotillas of shattered debris
Which seemed to have drifted in a pattern
Intended to allow her unobstructed exit
Books, papers, and various other shards of detritus
Drifted in the eddies of unsettled water
Which she cleaved like a great ship through choppy seas
In countenance and action
She exhibited a formidable and resolute presence
Like the war film fantasy of the battalion commander
Who leads his troops through a barrage
Of bullets and shrapnel
Upright, undeterred, intent not on the enemy
But the objective beyond their defensive lines
Come hither, it whispers again
But I resist
The breeze with a whisper of its own
Admonishes me
Your place is here
On this solid earth
And the sand does feel good
Dimpled by my trail of steps
To where the ocean laps at my toes
There it is
Desire for a dream beyond my ready grasp
A tantalizing yet dangerous unknown
Stretches out beyond my ken to traverse
While I stand here
Content on my golden shore
To imagine a possibility
I may never pursue
I take off my shirt
The sun sighs, whispers again, yes, come. Come!
The next wave splashes foam onto my bare chest
Footsteps disappear beneath the ocean
And I can’t say
where it began
or where it ends
or if it ever will
It drives you to
the edge of mad
(where you found me)
but with your ever
growing faith
it’s clear
Life is not so
rational
as you would like
Discontinuous
In fact
Time sometimes goes
from front to back
while space folds in
upon itself
and plops you down
in the middle of
you know not
what
Yet still you stand
amidst the fray
(such dark embrace)
to write these words
you promised me
Love is not so
rational
as you would like
But its beauty
drives you still
We lost a good one this week in Canada, Gordon Downie, frontman, lyricist, songwriter for The Tragically Hip, a Canadian rock powerhouse. In the 80s and 90s, they were probably my favourite band.
This song, Courage (for Hugh MacLennan), has always resonated deeply with me. In 1998, while spending six months bicycling across China, it inspired this blog post from the road. As it turns out, with all that’s going on in the world right now, it proves a timely reminder to get back on the path of love and light and insight. It was a path Gordon Downie forged and followed vigorously, right up to the very end.
Here’s to you, Gordon. And thanks, again, for all the insight.
Not clinging
Preparing
To leap
And I have taken all of them
Some have called that heartbreaking
Some have called that courageous
I only know what Pascal told me
My nature lies in movement
Complete calm is death
I will be the willow
And not the hammer
I will be the water
And not the rock
Where there is hate
I will love
Where there is greed
I will give
Pix to Words 