A Little Sunshine in the Grey

Fall Alder Colors, Porteau Cove, Howe Sound, Sea to Sky Highway, British Columbia, Canada

On a grey day
I find a little sunshine
In some dark remnant of the past
Soon to be lost forever

On a grey day
I learn gratitude
For lessons of darkness
Which made of me a man
Who finds light
In the littlest things

Fall Alder
Porteau Cove Provincial Park
Howe Sound
Sea to Sky Highway
British Columbia, Canada, 2016

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1

Dancing Echoes on May 28, 2018 at 3:47 pm
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Oh I love this! Well done.

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- 2
  
  Patrick Jennings on May 28, 2018 at 4:53 pm
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  Thanks CJ!
  
  One small but significant edit. Do you see it? 😉
  
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3

Dancing Echoes on May 28, 2018 at 5:45 pm
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Hmmm no, please tell me?

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- 4
  
  Patrick Jennings on May 28, 2018 at 10:28 pm
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  The third line was originally “In some small remnant of the past”
  
  I’m not sure which I prefer… I think the image of the original is better, but the current works better within the structure and themes of the poem.
  
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5

Manja Mexi Movie on May 28, 2018 at 9:15 pm
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This is truly one of the grandest lessons to receive. Only the lucky ones do.

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- 6
  
  Patrick Jennings on May 28, 2018 at 10:29 pm
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  Then I consider myself very lucky. =)
  
  Thank you, Manja. ❤
  
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7

Dancing Echoes on May 29, 2018 at 5:42 am
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I see your point and agree. I do like the original especially the word remnant but I like the way darkness is tied together on the edit. They are both good in their own way. If you are still not completely happy though maybe split down the middle?
Some dark remnant of the past
Just a thought….

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  Patrick Jennings on May 29, 2018 at 12:16 pm
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  Well, duh! Of course. Perfect! ❤ Thanks.
  
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  - 9
    
    Dancing Echoes on May 29, 2018 at 12:18 pm
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    Nah, just an idea
    
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    - 10
      
      Patrick Jennings on May 29, 2018 at 12:29 pm
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      I wrote and produced a play for the Vancouver International Fringe Festival waaaay back in 2000. I was fortunate to be able to workshop the script of several months with actors, the director and stage manager. One actor in particular was very insightful, Every now and again, he’d make a bit of a face during a reading, like he was trying to wrap his head around the words. “I don’t know, I think my character would say something more like…” and then reel off a line of dialogue so obviously true to the story, I’d immediately write it down and reply, “Well, yeah, because that was the way the script should have been written in the first place.”
      
      Putting “remnant” back in there is a bit like that.
      
      The words come. I set them down, arrange them, play with them, until they feel “right”. Sometimes, I don’t feel them deep enough before letting them go, and they ask for a revisit. The ‘revisit’ sometimes comes in an usual form, an unconscious or semi-conscious reaching out for the insight of others.
      
      No matter how, so long as the words find their proper place. More often than not, they’re not really mine anyway. They just found their way into the world through me.
      
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11

Dancing Echoes on May 29, 2018 at 3:26 pm
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Honored 😌

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  Patrick Jennings on May 29, 2018 at 6:43 pm
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  ❤
  
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