The Hard Ride

I turn the brightness up
Raise myself out of the depths
The mire
The hardship
Out of the confusion
And disorientation
If only for a moment

Breathe

Like coming up for air
In the tumult
Of crashing surf
Before the wave
Takes me under

Again

I ride
The roiling current
Surfacing
Gasping
Under again

Until the wave plays out
And I wash up
On the foaming shore
Shake salt water from my ears
Snort it out my nose
Rinse the sand from my hair

Then, with determination
And a Whoop!
Dive back in
Paddle out
To catch the next wave

And so it is
Sometimes
This journey
Of self-discovery
Like body surfing
The big waves
With a shore break

Awareness
Does not come
With the exhilarating glide
On a cresting wave
Not that alone
Not without rising
After being taken under
Hard
Every now and again