Fault Lines

When I finally turned my gaze
From the world that’s all around me
Turned my eye to look within
And find the source that drives me

It wasn’t long before I found
A crack in my demeanor
A harrowing
Of imperfection
A way in which I’m broken

Many ways I dwelled on it
The fault line in my being
Looked at it from all sides
And even tried to fill it

But there it was
A crack in me
Eventually accepted
And once I did
I began to see
It wasn’t the exception

A multitude of cracks appeared
It was really quite disturbing
Some deep and dark
Whose depths I’d plumb
And find that there’s no bottom

It really was a frightening year
Of darkfull self-reflection
Finding all the cracks in me
Seeing through the self-deception

But in time I began to see
The cracks within
Held deep beauty
Just like the lines
That crease the eyes
Of the lovers I now see

The creamy skin of youth
No longer stirs desire
I long to trace the furrowed lines
Of lovers who’ve lived longer

It’s their experience
It’s their stolid stance
It’s their winnowing of fruit from chaff
It’s their insight and their learning
It’s their wisdom gained from failing

All of this is etched in flesh
Of uncommon beauty
So looking now
So deep within
I see my cracks more truly